Previous English skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the condition.
"There's something about facing the future and hesitating to really process that at the minute," he stated.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "calm" as he focuses on his present welfare, his family and getting ready for when the disease worsens.
"Possibly that's trauma or maybe I handle situations differently, and when I have the facts, it's more manageable," he stated further.
Early Signs
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some reduced power in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the condition, a set of scans indicated nerves in his brain and spinal cord had been affected by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately extremely emotional about it, but it's so strange because I sense that everything is fine," he added.
"I don't experience ill. I don't experience sick
"My indications are quite slight. I have some muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I remain able to doing all activities. And hopefully that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Condition Development
MND can develop rapidly.
According to the charity MND Association, the illness claims a third of people within a 365 days and over half within two years of diagnosis, as ingestion and breathing become more difficult.
Treatment can only delay deterioration.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," added an affected Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Effect
Speaking from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with sentiment when he mentioned breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was quite heartbreaking," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in tears, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and started licking the tears off our faces, which was quite silly."
Moody explained the emphasis was staying in the moment.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be so intensely focused on just welcoming and savoring each moment now," he said.
"According to Annie, we've been truly fortunate that the primary determination I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much time with the kids as possible. We don't get those times back."
Athlete Link
Professional sportspeople are disproportionately affected by MND, with investigations indicating the prevalence of the disease is up to 600% higher than in the broader public.
It is thought that by restricting the O2 available and producing injury to motor neurone cells, regular, intense training can initiate the illness in those already predisposed.
Sports Career
Moody, who won 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his fearless, unwavering approach to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once sparked a workout altercation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a training equipment and started participating in physical contacts.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the line-out in the decisive passage of play, setting a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to score the game-deciding drop kick.
Support Community
Moody has previously told Johnson, who led England to that title, and a couple of other previous team-mates about his condition, but the others will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the minute, just having that kind of care and acceptance that people are available is what's important," he commented.
"This game is such a wonderful group.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"Being able to call your love your career, it's one of the most important privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a time with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will desire to help in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those conversations."
